1. |
Check It Out, I'm Gay
04:00
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I’m by myself at prom feeling shook to the bone
I confessed my feelings, ended up hurt and alone
All I do is bully, attack, and yell
Every day is my own personal hell
But my facade has cracked, I fear my cover’s blown
But when my new friend Gorgug came up to me
Kissed me like I was a somebody
My heart exploded like a bomb
Hey Mom! I got kissed at prom
My fears are beginning to end
I gotta help all my new friends
Wait! I know exactly what I’ll say (Hey!)
Check it out, I’m gay!
Check it out, I’m gay!
Don’t give a f*ck what they’ll say
I’m starting to live the dream, so now I’m gonna scream
Check it out, I’m gay
(Hey, check it out, he’s gay)
Check it out, I’m Ga-a-a-a-a-y
(Hey, check it out, he’s gay)
I finally feel that it’s okay to cry
I’m gay now! and I couldn’t feel more alive
There’s no days off when you’re an Owlbear
Hoot Growl (Hoot Growl!) will fill the air
As the bad kids fight to save all of Sylvare
Fuck it, let’s fight!
I’m determined to unlock my heart
Or my name isn’t Ragh Barkrock
All these suppressed feelings inside
I can’t wait to wave my flag with pride
Those who say this is a turnoff
Well, they can go fuck right off
Hey, Goldenhoard! Now it’s time to pay (Hey!)
Check it out, I’m gay!
Check it out, I’m gay!
Don’t give a f*ck what they’ll say
I’m starting to live the dream, so now I’m gonna scream
Check it out, I’m gay
I’ve been stuck alone on some broken glass, trying not to fall (cause it’s invisible!)
But my new friends and allies gave me a lifeline, I no longer feel like an oddball
Kristen says, “When you’re gay, you’re family” and I feel a noise rise deep within me
Saying, “I’m truly proud of who I am”
Key Change!
Check it out, I’m gay!
Check it out, I’m gay!
Don’t give a f*ck what they’ll say
I’m finally living the dream, so I’m gonna scream
Check it out, I’m gay
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2. |
A Crown of Candy
02:13
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Do you hear the sound of kingdoms falling?
Do you hear the cry of a hero’s end?
Do you see the march of advancing armies?
Do you feel the knife planted by a friend?
Where do you turn when you lost your future?
How do you go on when you’re filled with dread?
Why do you dare to drive yourself forward?
What do you do with the crown of candy on your head?
There’s danger
Around every corner
For the House of Rocks
Who can you trust?
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3. |
Failed
03:50
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I’ve sewn my wounds shut
But I’m picking at the seams
I’m lost and I’m tired
I don’t know what strength I require
I’ve failed
I’ve failed
I’ve failed you
The past remains present
It consumes all I feel
It stings like a knife
My shame outlasts your life
I’ve failed
I’ve failed
I’ve failed you
I will crawl out of pit to prove to myself that I won’t fail again
I will do whatever it takes to redeem to myself ‘cause I won’t fail again
I will pick myself up
I will stand up tall
I may feel
that I have failed
But I will not fall on my heels
I may be lost
But I know which path I will choose
I will protect those
That I cannot lose
And with a raise of my sword
I’ll face the armies and yell
“You won’t have my last word
before I drag you to hell!”
If they wanted me gone
They should’ve finished the job
I will not fail you again
Until my heart stops
I can’t fail again
No, I won’t fail again
I can’t fail again
No, I won’t fail again
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4. |
Jet Black Shadow
03:53
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I have no strength left
Nothing left to spend
Just this newfound rift
With no torturous end
I miss your bright smile
Licorice on your breath
Filled with conviction and guile
Now the nothing of death
Oh, why did I run?
Cowardice filled my blood
But with the morning sun
Your shadow lingers on
You follow my every move
Ever-present, ever-gone
Consumed with a bright gloom
Oh, how do I move on?
You were the one I could count on
I have nothing to fall back on
You were the yin to my yang, the sun to my moon
I hope we can reunite soon
Your jet black shadow haunts me where ever I go
Lost in half of a memory that’s trapped me
Somewhere in between the dead and the living
I can’t keep giving and giving
I’m trapped by your ghost, your jet black shadow
Circumstances are stark
And tears have choked my eyes
You’re stuck in the dark
And only seen by light
You won’t be replaced
No matter how hard they try
You step with me in this space
And exist in my mind
You were the one I could count on
I have nothing to fall back on
You were the yin to my yang, the sun to my moon
I hope we can reunite soon
Your jet black shadow haunts me where ever I go
Lost in half of a memory that’s trapped me somewhere in between
The dead and the living. I can’t keep giving and giving
I’m trapped by your ghost, your jet black shadow
My jet black shadow
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5. |
Of All Things
06:38
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I’ve lived a life that’s small and putrid, drowning in regret
There are things I’ve done that I’d like to forget
A lifetime spent in the sewers with a light at the end of the tunnel
An approaching subway car; destination: the concrete jungle
And you work conducting train through snow and rain
I know I’ve stained your soul with abandonment and pain
But Wally you don’t seem to mind
You conduct your work with pride
As you drive this subway to collide with the outside of my heart
Now how do I depart?
You’re the best son that I could have asked for, you beautiful bastard
Cause I don’t deserve all this love without heed
Soon the world discover your compassion for others
I can’t help but wonder what things you will achieve
If I was a better father, I would have worked harder
And would have gone farther to see you succeed
But now I have to leave
So can I just say
Of all the things that give me hope
Things that make me feel alive
Inside, what fills me with pride
Is you and your brother
You both make me stronger
And of all the things that I’ve done wrong
Of all the people I’ve betrayed
I pray that I could just stay
To watch you both grow
But now I must go
And even though this is a last goodbye
You should know that as I pass beyond this life
I’ll watch you grow and work and love and sacrifice
Wally and David,
I love you more than all things
I spent so many years defiant, feeling sorry for myself
But I slowly recognized the suffering I’d dealt
So I developed the perspective to see others in distress
And from that point on I’ve aided my fellow dispossessed
But you have the natural empathy that it took me years to see
Helping those fucked by scumbag businessmen like me
David, my son, I’m proud of the man you’ve become
You’re someone I wish I was when I was young
But I ran away from my feelings, abandoned my family
Wally, and you: the two who needed me most
You’re a f*ckin’ ball-buster with a passionate luster
To protect others without as much as a boast
And I know you don’t forgive me, I would say I’m sorry
But there’s no apology that would let me hold you close
Just let me try my utmost
And can I just say
I have to go
I feel my consciousness expand
I can’t have what I want
Some dreams have to end
But Wally, David, just know in your heart
That I’ll be protecting you from somewhere
I’m so proud of you
Goodbye.
Goodbye!
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6. |
A Cursed Sailor
01:46
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Captain Jack is a cursed sailor
Captain Jack is a cursed sailor
We once served a rat named Jack Brakkow
The crew on his ship two years ago now
A ship that just had just unfurled its sails
A maiden voyage destined to fail
He rented a ship from the Crescent Moon
Along with his first mate, Clive McDoon
Who brought the stone that ensured our doom
Aboard The Late Bloomer, our eternal tomb
A smile on his face, our captain wails
“All abroad, men, there’s plenty of ale”
We sing and cheer, the whole night long
Shanties like this, our eternal song
This is calm before the storm
We’d all be dead before the morn
Lightning strikes and boulder-sized hail
Pierced the deck and our bodies like nails,
Captain Jack yelled, man your stations!
As Clive McDoon smiled, curse him to damnation
We attempted in vain through the pouring rain
To chart a path through the dangerous wrath
But one lightning strike and one strong wave
Ripped the ship apart, splinters set ablaze
A storm built out of mystical means
Drowned out the sound of our dying screams
And Captain Jack, his heart gripped by fear
Watched his crew disappear through the veil of tears
Now Captain Jack lives among the mold
A barbarous beast whose story’s grown old
Surrounded by ghosts, our loyalty sworn
Singing this shanty forevermore
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7. |
Sisters
03:57
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Inferior
I felt truly inferior
Surrounded by a spell of fear and panic that consumed my interior
Invisible
They made me feel so invisible
The emotional abuse that gripped my heart and made existing unbearable
All the fears and the anxieties
The constant insecurity
That plagued me every second of every day
I left that all behind
In the forest where nightmares come to life
And here I found you in all this pain
It’s the same pain that I recognize in your face
The same pain I felt when mom and dad made me feel like a disgrace
The same pain we unleashed when we lashed out without a care
The same pain we now must share
Let’s be sisters
Finally together
Let’s throw away the animosity
And see that what we needed was each other
Let’s be sisters
The ones we both deserve
Mom and Dad drove us apart, so now let’s
Start to mend the bridges that we’ve burned
Oh, let’s be sisters
This manufactured war that we’ve raged
It’s not what we wanted
No, the battlefield was staged
By the two who authored every page
Of our lives, left us feeling unwanted
And the pain will hold on
Cause life isn’t a song
Maybe we’ll find we belong
In each other’s arms
So let’s be sisters
Now free from the abuse
Just you and me inside a world
That’s shown us we can share this love if we so choose
At last, we’re sisters
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8. |
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Through a window pane of glass, I overlooked a starlit sea; where did she go?
She left me alone
A joyless child who’s trapped behind the locked door of a dark room made of stone
Just skin and bone
Two kind blue eyes that said I’m perfect as I am - my one last ray of hope
Smothered by the smoke
Of the red hot brand that etched the burning pain of frostbite on my very soul
I was on my own
Yet a storm grows deep inside
It’s untameable
Now with allies at my side
We’re unbreakable
On the battlefield flying high
I’m inescapable
A tempestous flood is nigh
Freedom’s attainable
I will breed thunder and chaos
And I will rule
Descending down a mountain with a group of so-called family in the frost
They all seem lost
I’ve aided them and sacrificed my plans without asking for any cost
Yet they’re still cross
They question my intentions and they act without a care for my own thoughts
It’s ambivalence they flaunt
But we have a war to win, so our alliance remains strong in the assault
We must overcome what fraught
Fingers-crossed
A storm grows deep inside
It’s untameable
Now with allies at my side
We’re unbreakable
On the battlefield flying high
I’m inescapable
A tempestous flood is nigh
Freedom’s attainable
I will breed thunder and chaos
I’m tired of this dance
With this family, I’ll be strong
Could this be my chance
To feel like I belong?
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9. |
F*ck It, I Dance Now
04:15
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The looming specter of failure lies ahead
A shadow of great expectations in my head
I must honor the family name
I must live up to my father’s fame
I can’t disappoint my friends or I’ll feel dead
But then a 1, 2, 3, 4
Feet on the floor
Step after step
Can’t catch my breath
As I kiss her
A fiery partner
Pas de Bourree
Surrounded by flames
My passion ignited
Don’t try fight it
Tapping my feet
Twirling elven sheets
A champion no more
In the College of Swords
A newfound transformation
Bardic inspiration!
I’m gonna build a dance studio
And go skip rocks in the river
Play some tunes over the radio
As my confidence grows even bigger
Papa, I hope that you are proud of me
And the path I’ve paved in your stead
Because toxic masculinity is dead (toxic masculinity is dead)
F*ck it, I dance now! (Hoot Growl!)
(AHHHH!)
Wave my sheet in the air like I just don’t care
(AHHHH!)
Sheathe the insecurities I had to bear
(AHHHH!)
I’m gonna be me, gonna build my own legacy
(AHHHH!)
With my friends standing beside me, I finally feel seen
(Fabian fin’ly feels seen x2)
I feel seen!
I’ve fin’ly gotten in touch with my elven roots
A pirouette, a chassé drives failure away; that no one can dispute
I’m Fabian Aramais Seacaster
And I’ve found my passion, no longer a disaster
Nightmares be damned, I’m gonna save Spyre, with all growls and hoots
But then a 5, 6, 7, 8
I can’t see straight
Where are my friends?
When does the pain end?
Chungle-Down Bim
As the light grows dim
Sexy rat, gonna f*ck me
Throw a shrimp party
Run through the forest
Approaching the chorus
Lay down on the ground
Don’t make a sound
But I faced my fears
I find myself in tears
Of this newfound realization
Bardic inspiration!
I used to think my friends only respected what was given to me from you
But now I know that my friends love me for who I am, not what I could do
Papa if only you could see how I’ve gotten out of my head
Because toxic masculinity is dead (toxic masculinity is dead)
F*ck it, I dance now! (Hoot Growl, motherf*ckers!)
(AHHHH!)
Wave my sheet in the air like I just don’t care
(AHHHH!)
Sheathe the insecurities I had to bear
(AHHHH!)
I’m gonna be me, gonna build my own legacy
(AHHHH!)
With my friends standing behind me, I finally feel seen
(Fabian fin’ly feels seen x2)
I feel seen!
Look at me now! Look at me now!
My friends got my back, and evil we disavow
I’m finally me, building my own legacy!
I’m filled with joy, the Bad Kids are proud of me
(F*ck it, Fabian dances now! x2)
They’re proud of me!\
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Jackson Machesky Boston, Massachusetts
Composer, singer, and musician based in Boston. Self-taught, ever-learning music producer. Member of the Boston University Dear Abbeys and the Sig Figs Collective.
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